


In Which Gilbert Asks Anne to Clarify

by jacksparrow589



Series: In Which Things Change [5]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, A bit of drama, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Gilbert realizing he should maybe question things, Not Canon Compliant, Shirbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26951809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksparrow589/pseuds/jacksparrow589
Summary: "So, you don't..." Gilbert couldn't say it. Instead, in a low voice only just loud enough for Anne to hear above the fire, he asked, "You think I should propose to Winifred?"I have to say yes. There's no other answer.Anne opened her mouth and tried to speak. It should be so easy. He'd given her every reason, but her heart—her damned, traitorous, cursed heart; the same heart that wanted for all of Gilbert's dreams to come true—had somehow blocked the one word that would allow him just that.Because if I do that..."Anne, please, if you truly believe—""I don't." Anne clenched her fists in her lap, screwing her eyes shut as her nails dug into her palms. She opened her eyes and gasped out a breath. "I'm sorry; I can't... I shouldn't have—" Anne stood abruptly and went to gather her things, leaving Gilbert stunned by the fire.---------------a.k.a. In Which jack Kind of Leans Into the Drama, But, Like, Only a LittleSet during 3x08. You know the scene.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: In Which Things Change [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672138
Comments: 28
Kudos: 145





	In Which Gilbert Asks Anne to Clarify

**Author's Note:**

> This started as me trying to have Anne follow Gilbert after he walks away from the fire, but it just felt so forced and I just couldn't make it so that I felt good getting Anne and Gilbert together. At the end of the day, it has to be his choice, or it's just not right.  
> Also, the summary is the first few paragraphs. We're jumping right in just post-Anne's ramble. The other girls somehow have the good sense not to interrupt, which gives Gilbert a moment to realize that he should probably question if what he thinks he understood is indeed correct.

"So, you don't..." Gilbert couldn't say it. Instead, in a low voice only just loud enough for Anne to hear above the fire, he asked, "You think I should propose to Winifred?"

 _I have to say yes. There's no other answer._ Anne opened her mouth and tried to speak. It should be so easy. He'd given her every reason, but her heart—her damned, traitorous, cursed heart; the same heart that wanted for all of Gilbert's dreams to come true—had somehow blocked the one word that would allow him just that. _Because if I do that..._

"Anne, please, if you truly believe—"

"I don't." Anne clenched her fists in her lap, screwing her eyes shut as her nails dug into her palms. She opened her eyes and gasped out a breath. "I'm sorry; I can't... I shouldn't have—" Anne stood abruptly and went to gather her things, leaving Gilbert stunned by the fire.

"Where is it... Come on... It must be here somewhere... Oh, _where is my damned hat?!_ " Anne's search for her hat was proving difficult owing as much to the dark as to the tears blurring her vision. Finally, she found it, and, tossing it in her basket, she raced off.

She could no longer hear the continuing revelry over the pounding in her ears and the heaving of her breath by the time she sagged against a tree and began to sob.

_How dare I. How dare I, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, an orphan with no fortune or connections, have the audacity to tell Gilbert Blythe that he should not do the one thing that will see all of his dreams and desires bear out? Why should he even seek my opinion anyway?_

_"Just one thing..."_

He couldn't mean her. How could he? Fleeting gazes and schoolhouse dance practices weren't forever, and even if the memories were, they couldn't open doors or futures the way a wealthy marriage and a Sorbonne education could!

"Anne!" Gilbert had finally caught up to her. "Anne, _please,_ I have to know..." He drew a couple of shaking breaths, and while his next words were timid, they were also full of hope. "I have to know if my feelings for you are returned."

Anne closed her eyes again. _Don't tell him. Don't say a thing._ "I can't," she whispered. She opened her eyes to look up at him. "Gilbert, I _can't._ The Sorbonne—your dreams—I can't stand in the way of that. I can't... can't give you anything, and it'd be foolish to ask you to throw away all of your dreams just because I—" Anne clapped her hands over her mouth as a fresh wave of sobs overtook her.

She flinched when Gilbert's hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she forgot how to breathe when, after her sobs quieted, he told her, his voice soft but no less sincere for it, " _You're_ the dream I can't throw away."

Anne shook her head. "No. No, I can't be. I'm not... Gilbert, _no._ If you won't be sensible about this, I will. Paris—"

"I don't care about Paris," Gilbert said quickly.

Anne tried again. "The Sorbonne—"

Gilbert shook his head. "There are other schools here where I can get the education I want."

 _But surely..._ "Winifred—"

" _I don't want to marry her._ " Gilbert's tone left no room for question. "Anne, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I... That I wasn't brave enough to say it before. That I came here hoping that you'd give me the reason—the answer I wanted to hear. All I've done tonight is cause you anguish when all I wanted was to hear you say... that you love me the way I love you." When all Anne seemed capable of was staring at him, he took her hands. "And regardless of your answer, I won't be attending the Sorbonne because I won't be marrying Winifred. It wouldn't be right."

"But you can't... I'm not..." Anne floundered for words. Finally, in a voice just above a whisper, she quavered, "Please don't do this on my account."

Gilbert shook his head. "I'm not. The more I think about the life offered to me... I can't do it. It's not fair to Winifred. It's not fair to Bash and Dellie and Hazel. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me."

"Gil... You can't. We really only just became friends. How can you—" Anne had to take a deep breath before continuing. "—how can you love me?"

Gilbert gave her a sad half-smile. "Anne, you have to know by now that my feelings... I've liked you since the day we met. I don't know exactly when it became love, but I was sure for a long time that you didn't feel the same way and then—" 

Anne shook her head so vehemently that she needed to pull her hands from Gilbert's to brush her hair from her face. "You don't know that I feel the same way." Even as she said it, she knew it was a weak excuse.

"Can you honestly tell me that you don't?" Gilbert asked gently.

"I know that... That I look forward to seeing you. That I'm always looking for you when I know you're around. That I can depend on you. That you've let me into your life and that I want to be there. I know that to see you marry Winifred would devastate me, but at the same time, I can't bear the thought that I'm in any way keeping you from the most incredible opportunity." Anne took a deep breath as tears once again rolled down her cheeks. "But I've been trying not to put a name to that because..." She trailed off helplessly.

Gilbert took her hands again. "Anne, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. And I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't feel ready for. I just want to be sure you know that you are not responsible for my choices." He paused, searching for the words, and when he spoke next, though Anne wouldn't have thought it possible, he was even more sincere. "But I want to be your choice, if that's tonight or tomorrow or in five years or ten or twenty—no matter how long, I can wait. And if all there ever is between us is friendship, I'll gladly have it. You are one of the most amazing, courageous, and intelligent people I know, and I want to be a part of your life."

It wasn't the first time words had deserted Anne for this long, but it was the first time she found a suitable alternative. She pulled one hand from Gilbert's and placed it on his cheek before boldly stepping forward and rising up onto her toes to kiss him only just briefly before pulling away and stumbling back a step. Biting her lip, she waited for Gilbert's reaction. After a moment, she asked quietly, "Is that enough for now?"

"Do you want it to be?" Gilbert raised his free hand to her cheek.

Anne couldn't help nuzzling a little closer into it. "For tonight, I think yes." She blinked. "I just... I need a little time."

Gilbert nodded. "I understand. I... There are things I need to do, too." _Break it off with Winifred_ went implied; he didn't dare mention her again. "May I... walk you home at least? It's dark, and it's late, and it's partly my fault..."

Anne nodded hazily and made a noise of agreement, and they set off.

* * *

They reached Green Gables an hour later, stopping only when Anne realized she needed water for a splitting headache that was starting. She only just reined in the impulse to explain that at least some of it was due to drinking. They hadn't been talking much, anyway, and though the silence wasn't entirely uncomfortable, Anne didn't want to add yet another uncomfortable topic to the night's already unenviable list.

Anne stood facing Gilbert just off the porch. The there was no light inside—Marilla had frowned at the idea of a celebration but had said she'd say nothing against it as long as Anne was in her bed before Matthew got up for chores in the morning—and the lantern was still barely flickering, but the moon cast plenty of light still. "Thank you for walking me home," she murmured. "It's... I do appreciate it. Really."

Gilbert managed a faint, sad smile again. "I'm sorry that it happened this way."

Anne reached between them to take his hand. "It'll be alright," she assured him. Her voice was still quiet, but her tone was reassuring; confident, even. "I want..." But again, the words wouldn't come. She shook her head. "I want to say it; really, I do."

"I know, Anne." Gilbert squeezed her hand, then, slowly enough to make sure that Anne could withdraw her hand should she choose, he raised it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. Anne's eyes were wide as he met her gaze afterward, but she wasn't upset. "When you're ready."

Anne nodded faintly. "Good night, Gilbert." She absently clasped her hand over her heart for a moment before turning to go inside.

Gilbert sighed and started to make his way home to plan out what to say. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

**_three weeks later_ **

"Gilbert and Anne tied for first!" gasped Tillie.

The class buzzed with excitement. Moody clapped Gilbert on the shoulder and asked if he'd be headed to Toronto, then. He'd wanted to know at the start of the gathering where things were with Winifred. Gilbert had simply said that she had called it off after the exam, deeming him unfit to benefit from her parents' largesse. (It was technically true: Winifred hadn't been as surprised or upset as he'd been expecting, but she'd insisted on putting on a show so as to preserve her reputation, and Gilbert couldn't in good conscience deny her.) "I don't think I would have fit in anyway," he'd reasoned when Moody had balked.

Gilbert shook his head. "I'll be attending Queen's this year at least. Bash will still need some help while Elijah is getting adjusted, and honestly, I don't think I'm ready to leave PEI again just yet."

Moody let out a relieved sigh. "Oh thank God; Anne refuses to edit my essays anymore. I mean—of course I'm glad you'll be here because you're my friend, too!" he added hastily.

Gilbert grinned and shook his head. "I think you're more capable than you let yourself believe, Moody. You got in all on your own, after all." With Moody wallowing a little in his own embarrassment, Gilbert walked over to Anne, who was smiling at him. "Well done. I suppose our fierce academic rivalry continues?" he joked, holding out his hand.

Anne's grin went a little wry as she shook the proffered hand. "Yes, I suppose it does." She released his hand. "I should go talk to Miss Stacy; I'd like to speak with her for a bit after this."

Gilbert nodded and watched her go before Charlie claimed his attention with the same questions Moody had asked.

* * *

"Sorry." Anne stepped off Miss Stacy's porch to join Gilbert. "It was... It's hard to leave."

Gilbert shook his head. "It's fine. Bash will forgive me once he hears that I did not, in fact, best you academically and he has another year to tease me about it." He smiled playfully as Anne let out a soft chuckle, and they began to walk back home at a leisurely pace.

After several minutes' silence, Gilbert pondered aloud what Queen's would be like. Anne replied that Prissy had said it wasn't much different to the schooling they were used to, "though she did only have Miss Stacy as a teacher for a few months. She did say there were a few teachers like her, though, and none so horrible as Mr. Philips."

Gilbert nodded. "That's encouraging." He thought for a moment. "Perhaps it'll be you teaching there someday."

Anne considered it. "It's not that I wouldn't want to; I just want to inspire children who perhaps would feel that more is an option, or who don't feel they belong." She smiled. "Everyone should be encouraged to learn."

"I agree." Gilbert matched Anne's bright smile with one of his own. "And I know you'll inspire. You've already done that enough here."

Anne hummed in almost embarrassed agreement, then slowed as her face fell a bit. They were walking near the ruins of the story club. Anne had told Gilbert about it one day last year when she'd been visiting Mary for cooking lessons. The sting of its destruction and the ensuing mayhem would never fade entirely. "It's one of the first places outside of Green Gables where I didn't have to worry," she murmured before brightening. "I know I belong in Avonlea now, though."

Gilbert took her hand. "Of course you do."

Anne sighed and tilted her head to rest against his shoulder as they ambled on, once again in contented quiet for a while. "It's still hard not to have some regrets." She said it softly, and to nobody in particular, not even Gilbert.

"I know." Gilbert squeezed her hand. "I'm sure we'll talk about them plenty more, but given today's events, perhaps something more pleasant? I hear Marilla's planned a celebratory supper?"

"So she says," Anne replied lightly. "I think it's just going to be normal a supper with extra praise, though after today, I can say I've earned it."

"Ah yes, because it's only today you've done something extraordinary," Gilbert teased. More seriously, he continued, "Honestly, Anne, you do deserve it, and more often than you get it."

Anne sighed, suddenly morose. "We're close to the treeline." Reluctantly, she let go of Gilbert's hand before turning to face him. "I don't want to hide this once we get to Queen's," she informed him. "With all the new changes, surely this will just be one more."

"It's your decision," Gilbert reminded her.

Anne grinned teasingly. "I'm growing a little weary of decision-making, if I'm honest. I've always preferred a spirited debate."

Gilbert rolled his eyes, but he couldn't hide his smile. "If you'll grant me a calm discussion every now and again..."

Anne pretended to think before replying, her laughter only barely contained, "I suppose that's agreeable."

Gilbert didn't bother trying not to laugh, himself, and instead pulled Anne in for a lingering kiss. When they parted a few long moments later, all he could do was beam at her.

Anne's grin was almost shy as she half-whispered, "I love you, Gilbert," before claiming another quick kiss.

"And I love you, Anne," was Gilbert's already customary (and yet no less thrilling any time he said it) reply before they set forth once again into another brilliant summer afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> So, there is actually a line in here from the old version of this. Like, most of their conversation is extremely thematically similar for obvious reasons, but there is one line I copy/pasted. Fake internet points if you guess correctly!


End file.
